As I interviewed Ranch therapists for this article, I was struck by a few common themes. The first was the importance of the relationship between the child and the therapist. Every therapist said the relationship comes first. Without that, nothing the therapist says or does will work. While each therapist has his or her own way of connecting to children, they all stressed that building a trusting relationship is their number one goal.…
Services For Kids
We understand our world and each other in so many ways. At Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, that means finding the set of constructs that resonate for each particular child. Each of these precious children is unique, with their own experiences, traumas, and defense mechanisms. In short, they are like all the rest of us as far as how we take in information. There is no "one size fits all" way to communicate.…
Do you remember when your mom or Grandma would try out a new recipe and it was really wonderful? I remember how it felt. I didn't have all the words then, but I felt cared for and special and loved. I saw how hard my mom tried to make every part of my life as good as she could.…
Every person we meet has lived a life only they can truly understand. Like the children at the Ranch, some of us can tell our stories, and some cannot. Each of us carries our experiences in our own way. And, when they are too heavy, God carries them for us.…
In this time of trying to separate the truly important from the normally important, I want you to know we are focused on one thing, "to help at-risk children and their families succeed in the name of Christ." Right now, helping these kids succeed means making decisions that keep them and our staff as safe as possible. It means delivering programming and education that creates a semblance of normalcy and predictability in a time when the world is neither. It means praying and laughing with our kids, and listening to their fears. It means accepting children from other facilities that have shut their doors. It means relying on Him, when we are not enough. He will give us the strength.…
Almost overnight, COVID-19 has radically changed life as we know it...across the nation, worldwide, and now here at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. But one thing that hasn't changed: the need for a very special place where vulnerable children can find healing, hope, and shelter from the storms of life.…
We are in uncharted territory. Although we are likely to start sentences with "it's like of like" or "I remember when," the reality is that the COVID-19/Coronovirus pandemic is a new reality for the entire world. Here at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, we, like everyone else, are navigating one day, and sometimes one minute, at a time.…
At a meeting I recently attended, a young minister told a story about his honeymoon. He and his wife wanted to do something really special to mark the start of their new life together. They were honeymooning in New England and decided that climbing a mountain nearby would fit the bill.…
Barry Backman has worked at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch for over 18 years. He is a Youth Care Worker Team Lead, and works, along with his team, directly with the kids. As parents, most of us need to live through about seven teenage years. Barry has stood by at-risk teens for 18+ years, helping them discover their best selves.…
Children’s brains are little learning machines. They learn from what we say and do, and what we don’t say and do. We must be intentional about what we teach.…
Sometimes I am astounded by how we continue the work of the Ranch in spite of obstacles put in our way. In the last week, the basement of one of our thrift stores flooded. Then, someone cut the catalytic converters out of the thrift store trucks we use to pick up donations. At the same time, we are implementing new federal legislation affecting children's residential services. And to top it all off, we have some major plumbing issues with our main building, our oldest building, on the Minot campus.…
When I heard that the theme for this year's Giving Hearts Day was "Count Me," it resonated loudly! Isn't that what we all want? To know we are seen. To know we are valued. To know we "count." That is why all of us at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch hold ourselves to a standard of the true presence. The children we serve through our residential and therapeutic programs, and in our schools, are often society's "unseen." They have been abused, neglected, traumatized, labeled, and misunderstood. At the Ranch, we are present to them, with exceptional, practiced, compassionate expertise. We see them, walk with them, and count them.…
The children at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch often come to us without any volume control. The years they have spent abused, neglected, or misunderstood have broken that "button." Sometimes they are extremely loud and rapid-fire in their speaking...because they needed to hell to be heard, and they had to deliver messages quickly before they were cut off or ignored. Sometimes they are silent and withdrawn, either because they are exhausted from trying to speak up to no avail, or because the punishment they received for speaking silenced them.…
My parents were products of the Great Depression. The real one, in the 1930s. The recession of the 1980s was bad, but a pretender compared to what people endured before. Many in the United States simply had nothing. Nothing.…
In 1952, a group of remarkable women at a small country church in rural North Dakota were concerned about the number of boys who were "out on their own." Boys as young as 9 or 10 were in the workforce, particularly as farm labor, because their families did not have the means to support them. Many were "half-orphans," whose fathers had died in WWII, or whose mothers had died in childbirth or of illness. These children were in survival straits, just trying to make it from day to day.…
So many things are all about perspective, right? I don't know if you've ever read or remember the Far Side cartoons. One of my favorites was a drawing of a car's outside rearview mirror from the driver's perspective. The words "Objects in the mirror may be closer than they seem" were clearly written across the bottom of the mirror. The only reflection in the mirror is one HUGE eyeball. The "reality" of what might be really close always makes me giggle.…
You have the opportunity to bless a child at the Ranch this Christmas with a note of hope, love, and joy. It might not seem like much, but your note of encouragement will brighten Christmas morning and let a Ranch child know how much you care.…
Every Monday, I send an internal e-newsletter to Ranch employees. As one part of that newsletter, I ask individual Ranchers to share their thoughts about how they in their individual roles, help fulfill the mission of the Ranch. The mission, "to help at-risk children and their families succeed in the name of Christ," is pretty lofty. It is not something anyone of us can accomplish alone, but rather we all have to do our own part.…
"The function of freedom is to free someone else." A few weeks ago, I was listening to the eulogizing of poet Toni Morrison, who had just died at the age of 88. Among the many wise words she wrote during her lifetime, this quote stood out to me. It resonated with the purpose and mission and daily efforts of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. It may seem ironic that a residential center is focused on freedom, since coming here is not often at a child's personal request,...so let me try to explain my thinking.…
Because of how and where they were raised, many kids come to the Ranch without basic health, self-care, and hygiene skills. Some haven't had a toothbrush. Others weren't told, or didn't have the opportunity, to shower or experience a sit-down meal. And or others, seemingly simple daily living skills triggered the trauma they experienced. Children also arrive at the Ranch with little to no histories of going to the doctor, dentist, or eye doctor.…
Our on-campus school district, Dakota Memorial School (DMS), is a remarkable place. Teachers at DMS use trauma-sensitive approaches to learning in balanced learning environment classrooms. What does that mean? It means we understand that for most Ranch kids, school has been a place of failure. To survive amidst chaos and traumatic experiences most of us can't even imagine, they developed "undesirable" behaviors that make it hard to learn.…
I was listening to a speaker the other day talk about how it is almost a status symbol in today’s workplace to be overwhelmed by projects, input, decisions, information, and policies. The speaker suggested that a more successful approach was to measure and respect our own “personal bandwidth.”…
At Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, we work very hard, in Christ's name, to help the kids who come to the Ranch to find their best selves. I believe the dedicated staff who work with our kids bring their own best selves and their unique talents to this place. By sharing their talents and passions, they set examples for the children. They show us how we can each be our true selves and make an impact in the world.…
NYPUM (National Youth Program Using Minibikes), a nationwide network of nearly 50 programs sponsored by the National Honda Motor Company, is an innovative way to engage at-risk youth. NYPUM positively affects kids' social, emotional, and psychological development.…
That is what we are here to do..."To help at-risk kids and their families succeed in the name of Christ." And, when we see that mission fulfilled in even one child, we are energized for the next and the next. We continue the "well-doing," and we never grow weary of seeing the beauty of a child becoming their best self.…